


a pillar i am, upright

by thekardemomme



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Morning Sex, Oral Sex, Porn with Feelings, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, True Love, lots of sappy romantic bullshit, they love each other sm it’s ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 08:47:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18427109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekardemomme/pseuds/thekardemomme
Summary: waking up next to someone takes some getting used to.





	a pillar i am, upright

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first time writing skam france/elu, which is v v exciting bc i love them so much!! i hope i did them justice
> 
> title from dinners & diatribes by hozier

waking up next to someone takes some getting used to. 

lucas wouldn’t trade it for the world, of course. few things can make him as happy as waking up and being greeted with kisses from his favorite person in existence, morning breath be damned. and falling asleep was easier next to eliott, even if they weren’t cuddling. just having him there, a warmth to his left, steady breathing and quiet snores every now and again–yeah, lucas wouldn’t ever give that up. 

it still shocks him sometimes. waking up and rolling over and seeing eliott there isn’t something he’ll ever be accustomed to, probably. it still leaves him breathless to know that eliott is there because he wants to be, because he  _ loves  _ lucas. it’s hard to grasp the idea that eliott likes waking up next to lucas as much as lucas likes waking up to eliott. he just never thought he’d ever be this lucky. 

but beyond that, beyond all the romance and sap of it all, there’s times like this. eliott is plastered to his back, nose pressed into the nape of his neck, eyelashes fluttering against his skin every now and then–and lucas is hard. they’ve been dating long enough that it isn’t that awkward, but it’s still kind of uncomfortable because lucas doesn’t really know what to do. he doesn’t want to get up and take care of it himself for a variety of reasons (which include but are not limited to: not wanting to wake eliott up, not wanting to masturbate when his boyfriend is right there, and the embarrassment of it) but he also doesn’t want to hope it goes away because he knows it won’t. at least, not before eliott wakes up. and he doesn’t know if he could handle that embarrassment. 

he considers pretending to still be asleep. eliott is a boy, he’s probably all too familiar with morning wood. if eliott wakes up first he’d probably just leave well enough alone and go make breakfast or something, and lucas could sneak to the bathroom for a cold shower and they would never have to speak of it. 

and it’s a pretty viable option, but eliott’s arms are draped around his waist and his hands are  _ so close _ to where lucas wants them and it’s practically impossible to feign sleep when he’s this turned on. 

he reaches down and presses his palm down, just to relieve some pressure. he can barely hold back the whimper at just that simple touch, and he can feel himself getting the fabric of his boxers wet. damn it. he’s not going to jerk off in bed with his boyfriend right beside him, he’s just not. 

as quickly and quietly as possible, lucas tries to extricate himself from eliott’s grip. he manages to get eliott’s arms off, but he knows that eliott was leaning against his back and that when he gets up, eliott might fall forward. so he moves as carefully as possible, hoping that in his sleep eliott will feel the movement and shift positions without waking up. 

and it seems pretty successful, because his feet hit the floor without a sound from his boyfriend. lucas stands and starts to make his way towards the bathroom, mentally debating between a cold shower or jerking off, when he hears a soft,

“baby?”

lucas swears quietly, and turns towards eliott, trying to cover the bulge in his sweatpants with the  hem of his t-shirt. “hey, i’m just going to the bathroom. go back to sleep,” he murmurs. but eliott does the opposite, instead sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

“what time is it?”

“uh, like 9am? still pretty early.” in the background, he can hear manon and mika in the kitchen, and he decides to use that as an out. “i think manon is cooking breakfast, if you want to go eat. i’ll be there in a few minutes.”

eliott shakes his head, flopping back in bed. “no, i want to stay in bed and cuddle.” he makes grabby hands at lucas, and lucas can’t help but melt. 

“i really have to go to the bathroom, baby, but i’ll be right back.” at that, eliott puckers his lips, and lucas can’t hold back a smile. he walks over and leans down to press a quick good morning kiss to eliott’s lips, and then stands back up. 

he watches eliott’s eyes widen a bit, and lucas is confused for all of three seconds before eliott’s smirk gives it away. he looks down at his sweats and groans, pulling his shirt back down over it. 

“i told you i have to go to the bathroom,” lucas mumbles, feeling his cheeks heat up in embarrassment. 

but eliott is having none of it. “no, no, baby. don’t be embarrassed.” he reaches for lucas’s elbow and pulls him to sit on the bed, and he sits up next to him. “is this okay?” he asks quietly, his hand slowly traveling across lucas’s thigh. lucas can only manage a small nod, staring intensely at eliott’s hand. “what were you dreaming about, that got you so hard?”

“you,” lucas whispers, because it’s true. “always you.”

eliott hums, “mm. anything specific?” his hand gets to lucas’s inner thigh, pressing against the seam of his sweatpants, so achingly close to where lucas wants him. lucas can’t help but shift his hips forward, searching for eliott’s hand. 

“just– we were–  _ you know.” _

“i don’t, actually. care to explain?”

lucas groans, feels the blush creep up his cheeks. he hates talking about sex so candidly, even in front of eliott. it’s not like eliott would ever make fun of him or anything, it’s just so awkward. in the past, talking about sex always involved talking about girls. he never had the experience of talking openly about gay sex–except with mika, which was always way too much way too fast–and so he didn’t really know how to go about it. 

especially in regards to himself. he spent so long suppressing his feelings towards boys that it felt weird to go against that. after years of forcing himself not to think about it, it was almost too uncomfortable to let that part of himself go. 

eliott doesn’t seem to have that problem, and lucas can’t help but feel infinitesimally jealous. he can speak so openly about sex in any context, be it answering questions or joking around or trying to turn lucas on, and he doesn’t even bat an eyelash. lucas can barely even tell eliott he’s close without feeling like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. 

“come on, baby,” eliott pleads, leaning in to nip gently at the skin behind lucas’s ear. “talk to me. tell me what you want so i can give it to you.” another small bite, and lucas finds his eyes slipping closed. “you know i want to give you everything, lucas. all you have to do is ask.”

“we were– i was– or, rather,  _ you  _ were… you were sucking me off,” lucas whispers, and as if to encourage him to continue, eliott finally places his hand where lucas needs it most. “and i was, fuck, i was really close. and you, like, pulled off and told me to hold it. and stuff.”

“i was edging you?” eliott asks, and lucas nods meekly. eliott hums in consideration, slowly starting to move his hand. “we’ll have to try that sometime. maybe not now, but once we’ve talked about it a bit.” he slides his hand up and then beneath the waistband of lucas’s sweats, leaving only the barrier of lucas’s briefs between them. “thank you for telling me.”

lucas’s  _ you’re welcome _ gets drowned out by a moan, and he reaches down to grip eliott’s wrist. he doesn’t mean to stop him or tell him to slow down, he just… he just needs to touch. 

“so,” eliott prompts, “what do you want right now? do you want me on my knees, or do you want–”

“i want you to fuck me,” lucas states, and he doesn’t have to open his eyes to see eliott’s shock. he can hear it in eliott’s surprised moan, as though he was turned on just by lucas saying those words so boldly. 

“anything you want.”

eliott removes his hand and moves to straddle lucas’s hips, wrapping his arms around lucas’s neck. lucas’s hands fall to eliott’s waist immediately, pulling him down and trying to goad him into grinding. it doesn’t take much convincing, and eliott is rocking his hips before lucas can even process what’s happening. he moans again, louder this time, and eliott is quick to swallow the sound with a kiss. 

distantly, lucas is thankful for eliott’s consideration. manon and mika (and probably lisa) are just outside the door, and if he’s too loud, they’ll hear everything. lucas knows that eliott has no qualms about being overheard, but he also knows that eliott knows lucas would be extremely embarrassed if they were. he’s reminded all over again why he’s so in love with eliott–the sweetest boy he’s ever known, always more concerned with lucas than himself. 

“i love you,” lucas murmurs into the kiss, just so eliott knows. 

eliott’s hips stutter, and then he’s whispering out a small, “love you too.” he pulls back, then, and tugs at the bottom of lucas’s hoodie. “would love you more if this was off.”

and who is lucas to deny him that? he pulls off his hoodie and then moves to take eliott’s shirt off, too. eliott pushes him back on the bed, then, grinding his hips even faster than before. 

“wait, wait,” lucas breathes out, panting when eliott pulls back and waits. “let’s– fuck, let's move back on the bed so neither of us end up on the floor.”

eliott glances back at where lucas’s knees are bent and his feet rest on the floor, and apparently decides it’s a decent plan. he climbs off of lucas’s lap and then they both move towards the center of the bed, falling into the dip they’ve made from cuddling most of the night. eliott immediately returns to his place on top of lucas, but instead of straddling him, he just nudges lucas’s knees apart and settles down there. he starts working his way across lucas’s neck and then down his chest with kisses, biting little marks here and there (but nothing that’ll stay too long, because lucas isn’t a huge fan of that). 

he licks a stripe down lucas’s abs and then presses kisses into the v of his hips, deliberately teasing. lucas is helpless to do much other than cant his hips up in the hopes that it’ll convince eliott to take his sweats and briefs off, but it doesn’t really seem to be working. 

then he remembers: all he has to do is ask. 

“eliott, baby,” he breathes, and the vibration of eliott humming in acknowledgment against lucas’s bellybutton nearly makes him moan. “take my pants off, please? i need you.”

“anything you want, baby,” eliott whispers into his skin, and lucas rejoices. apparently being verbal about what he wants actually  _ can  _ be a good thing. he’ll have to remember that. 

his sweats and boxers come off in one move, and then get thrown across the room haphazardly. lucas can’t bring himself to care. instead, he just spreads his legs wider and reaches down to knot his fingers in eliott’s hair. he knows he said he wanted to be fucked, but he can feel the warmth of eliott’s breath against his dick and fuck if that isn’t tempting as hell. 

eliott seems to get the message (as if it’s not glaringly obvious) and leans forward to lick up the underside of lucas’s dick. he’s been hard for quite some time now, and the feeling of eliott’s mouth on him is almost  _ too _ much. there’s a real concern of this being over way too soon, if eliott keeps going like that–but lucas doesn’t have the willpower within him to ask eliott to stop so they can fuck properly. 

lucas moans as eliott finally lowers his mouth over him, bobbing his head rhythmically and using his hand on what he can’t fit. he’s given lucas enough blowjobs to know exactly what he likes, and god, it shows. it’s barely been two minutes before lucas’s thighs are trembling, and he’s aching for a release. 

he props himself up on his elbows, looking down at eliott between his legs. and eliott is always beautiful, of course, but there’s something different about him like this. not just with a cock in his mouth–which is a fucking revelation, by the way–but just him so consumed by lust. his pupils dilate and his cheeks flush, and he just has this constant look in his eyes like he’s torn between wanting to devour lucas and wanting to savor him. lucas was used to seeing lust and love (or infatuation, in any case) in girls’ eyes, but he’d never appreciated it before. it never meant anything to him, really, so he never understood the gravity of those gazes. 

there’s just something so intoxicating about being the one that gets someone hot. lucas thinks about that a lot, actually. it always leaves him speechless when eliott approaches him at a party, says he’s been watching him for so long and he looks so damn hot and can they please go home now. he never knows how to react, just follows eliott to the bathroom or out of the house–he’d follow eliott to the ends of the world, probably–and takes whatever eliott gives. it’s another thing to be sitting at home and doing nothing out of the ordinary and to suddenly find himself with a lap full of eliott, feeling his hard-on and asking what got him so turned on and hearing him say  _ you _ as if it’s just that obvious. it’s  _ never _ that obvious, lucas never jumps to the conclusion that he’s particularly attractive or sexy or could make someone as beautiful as eliott so desperate. desperate for  _ him.  _ it’s a head rush, sometimes. 

and beyond that, just knowing that eliott loves him is enough to leave him stupefied. there’s times where eliott will be doing some stupid shit that makes lucas laugh, or something cheesy and romantic that makes lucas feel butterflies despite the cringe of the whole thing, or when he’ll catch eliott just staring, and he’ll just blurt out  _ i love you.  _ and eliott always smiles like he can’t quite believe it, and then he’ll say it back, and lucas always thinks that he should be the one in disbelief. lucas could live to be a thousand years old and nothing he could ever do in all those years of life will make him worthy of eliott’s love, and yet. and yet, here he is, loving and being loved. the world doesn’t make sense sometimes, and lucas tends to question it, but he tries not to question this. he tries to just let himself enjoy it, to let himself be in love. 

eliott taps on his thighs, makes lucas snap back into reality. eliott isn’t sucking him off anymore, and lucas finds that he has no idea when he stopped. he’d been so wrapped up in his own mind and in his love that he had completely forgotten about the incessant boner that had been impossible to ignore not even an hour earlier. the irony. 

“where’d you go, baby?” eliott asks, tapping his thighs again. there’s a hint of concern on his face, but it dissipates when lucas smiles. 

“i love you,” lucas reminds him. and before eliott can respond, he adds in, “you’re my best friend. did you know that?”

eliott, bless him, looks taken aback. he blinks several times and then breaks into this huge grin, launching himself forward to press his lips to lucas’s. he tastes like a mixture of dick and morning breath, but lucas doesn’t mind in the moment. he can brush his teeth later. 

when they pull apart, eliott is still smiling. “you’re my best friend, too,” he says, and then kisses him again and again and again. “i love you so much.”

“you’re so beautiful.”

eliott blushes, taps lucas’s nose. “stop being so sweet, it’s scaring me. where is my boyfriend?” he teases, reaching down to tickle lucas’s sides. he’d never admit it to anyone else, but lucas is  _ extremely  _ ticklish. he kicks and laughs and tries to pull eliott’s hands away, sighing happily when eliott finally lets up and just kisses him. 

their kisses are slow and sweet, and lucas almost forgets that they were right in the middle of something. it’s only the brush of eliott’s clothed thigh against his dick that reminds him, and he hisses into the kiss. 

“maybe,” lucas mumbles, trying to rub up against eliott’s thigh, “we should get back to what we were doing.”

eliott snorts, “yeah? want me to finish blowing you?”

“no. i want you to fuck me, like i said.”

“jesus,” eliott groans. “i don’t think i’ll ever get used to you talking like that. where’s the lube and condoms?”

“top drawer, towards the back.”

while eliott is leaned over the edge of the bed getting the lube and condoms, lucas takes another second to just look at him. the long lines of his body, the smooth skin, the way his muscles move. lucas spent so many years looking away from boys like this, and it feels so liberating to be able to take moments like these and just  _ look.  _ it’s kind of crazy how being closeted makes people suppress things like just looking at someone, but lucas remembers. he remembers flicking his gaze away, staring at his hands and his shoes and anything else. he remembers how his eyes would linger if he got too drunk, and how he’d drink water just to make it stop. 

he doesn’t ever want to stop looking at eliott. he looks at him all the time: at school, at home, when they’re walking hand-in-hand down the sidewalks, when he’s drawing, when he’s sleeping, when he’s bent at an awkward angle trying to find the most likely empty bottle of lube amongst all of lucas’s random shit. he’s just always so fucking beautiful.

“got it!” eliott cheers, moving back over lucas and smiling down at him. “how do you want it?”

“like this,” lucas smiles. “wanna look at you.”

eliott obliges, tucking a pillow under lucas’s hips and then pushing his legs open. lucas props up his pillows a bit so he can watch eliott as he drizzles the lube over his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it up. 

the first finger usually takes the longest to get used to, but lucas has been anticipating this for so long now that he relaxes much quicker than normal. he spreads his legs wider and pushes his hips back for a better angle, sighing happily when eliott starts brushing against his prostate. lucas can’t remember why he went so long swearing that he’d never be into anal play, because damn, it feels so  _ good.  _

eliott likes to tease him for that quite a lot.  _ how did you go your whole life not knowing you were a bottom,  _ he always says,  _ because i knew it from the moment i first saw you.  _

lucas thinks that’s bullshit, but he never calls eliott out on it. and anyway, technically he’s not a bottom. he doesn’t mind topping, and eliott doesn’t mind bottoming. sometimes eliott wants to be fucked, and lucas is always happy to provide. just. lucas prefers bottoming, and eliott prefers whatever lucas prefers. so it works out. 

the second finger follows pretty quickly, and the third even faster than that. by the time eliott deems him properly stretched, lucas is biting on the back of his knuckles to avoid making too much noise and letting his roommates know exactly what’s going on. 

eliott rolls the condom on and then adds more lube, slicking himself up. lucas relaxes and bears down as eliott lines up, the head pressing right at his hole like a promise. 

lucas waits a solid fifteen seconds for eliott to push in, but it doesn’t happen. 

he opens his eyes, finds eliott just staring down at where they’re about to be connected. lucas frowns, reaching out to touch eliott’s cheek. “hey, are you okay?” he asks, and when eliott looks up, he looks so gone that lucas immediately goes into panic mode, scrambling to sit up so he can cup eliott’s face between his palms. “baby, what’s wrong? what’s happening?”

“nothing bad, i promise,” eliott swears, laughing a bit. “i just… i really fucking love you, you know that?”

“eliott…”

“i’m serious. you’re lying there looking so gorgeous, and you’re trusting me so much to make you feel good and… and that alone makes  _ me _ feel good, you know? like, every time you let me do this, i just can’t stop thinking about how lucky i am. like, you could have anyone in the world, and you picked me. isn’t that fucking– i’ve never loved anyone like i love you, lucas. and i don’t think anyone has ever loved me the way you do. and i… i just really, really love you.”

lucas has tears in his eyes now, and he can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of this whole thing–here they are, trying so very desperately to have sex, but they keep cockblocking themselves with how much they love each other. leave it to them to create moments like this in a room that reeks of sex, among bedsheets covered in lube and precum. 

he’s so fucking lucky. 

“make love to me,” lucas murmurs, and he usually  _ hates _ that line, thinks it’s so cringey and cheesy, but he thinks it perfectly describes what they’re doing. sure, maybe it started as a way to get off, but then their stupid feelings got in the way and it’s all sappy and romantic now. 

lucas wouldn’t change anything about it. 

they reposition themselves, and lucas only has to wait a handful of seconds before eliott is pushing in. lucas moans the entire way, letting it trail off into a whine when eliott finally bottoms out. there’s very few sensations he loves more than the feeling of being so full, of both love and dick (what, he  _ is _ still a horny teenage boy).

after getting lucas’s go-ahead to move, eliott begins a slow rocking pace that has a slight edge, like a promise of something more. lucas grips his shoulders and pulls him down so they can kiss. eventually, the kisses will taper off and they’ll mostly just be breathing into each other's mouths, but that’s okay. it’ll be romantic anyway. 

“i don’t understand how you manage to feel this fucking good every time,” eliott pants into his ear, and lucas arches his back, wrapping his legs around eliott’s hips and boding him to move just a bit faster. he feels as though he’s been on the edge for so long. “you’re fucking magic, i swear.”

“shut up,” lucas laughs, breathless. “do you ever stop fucking talking?”

“do i ever stop  _ fucking? _ yeah, i could, if that’s what you want,” eliott smirks, starting to pull out. 

“no, no, no!” lucas protests, tightening his legs around eliott’s hips and keeping him pressed against lucas. “don’t you dare.”

eliott smiles, “thought so.” he starts thrusting again, faster this time. lucas can tell he’s searching for something because he keeps changing his angle, and he knows that as soon as eliott finds it, they’re going to be on the fast track to the end of this whole thing. lucas can’t even find it within himself to be disappointed. 

underneath his hands, he can feel how eliott’s shoulders are starting to strain under holding his weight. lucas rubs his fingers against the muscles, feeling how they flex and shake, and then trails his fingertips down to the ends of his shoulder blades and across to eliott’s spine. he can feel every muscle in eliott’s back moving, so dedicated to bringing them both off, and lucas feels like he should be contributing more somehow. he starts to move his own hips in time with eliott’s thrusts, doing his best to meet him halfway. 

“sweetheart, if you keep doing that i’m going to come,” eliott warns. 

“so? isn’t that the point?”

eliott rolls his eyes. “you have to come first.” as if to emphasize his point, eliott finally finds lucas’s prostate and nails it dead on. lucas practically lights up, back arching and moaning way too loud for how thin their walls are. eliott takes it as the approval it is, aiming for that spot over and over. 

the slow pace from before is gone, replaced with a steady pounding that’s hard enough to be audible but gentle enough to still be romantic(ish). lucas scratches his nails across eliott’s back–lucas may not like marks, but eliott loves them (he especially loves scratches, because he can pretend he doesn’t know they’re there, and he revels in lifting his shirt and ‘accidentally’ revealing them around their friends)–and moves his own hips faster. 

“close,” lucas breathes out. “so close, baby.”

eliott must be close too, because he gets more and more frantic by the minute. eliott reaches down and takes a hold of lucas’s dick, and all it takes is a few pulls for lucas to come between them, spilling all over eliott’s hand and his own stomach. 

eliott isn’t far behind, only lasting a couple of moments before he’s burying himself to the hilt and coming inside the condom. lucas holds tightly to him, so they’re pressed chest to chest, and tries to regain his breath. 

“that was…”

“amazing?” lucas fills in. “yeah.”

“you need to let me up so i can get tissues before this cum dries.” lucas whines at that, trying to hold eliott tighter, but eliott doesn’t back down. “baby, you know you’re going to get uncomfortable and sticky if we let that cum dry on you, and then you’re going to complain nonstop about it. let me get up and get tissues.”

lucas scoffs, letting eliott up. “what happened to ‘i just love you so much’ and ‘you’re my best friend, too’?” 

“i was just trying to get laid,” eliott teases. lucas scoffs dramatically, and he would sit up and make a huge scene normally, but as it is, he’s covered in cum. so he stays put and pouts instead. “i’m kidding, baby. i’m doing this because i love you and i don’t want you to be covered in cum. i know you hate it.” eliott makes quick work of cleaning them both up, and then climbs back into bed. 

lucas tucks himself into eliott’s side, humming when eliott holds him. “have i ever told you how hot you are?” lucas asks, and he knows eliott is blushing when he doesn’t respond. “because you are. you’re so fucking hot.”

“thank you, baby.” he presses a kiss to lucas’s hair, and then holds him closer. “i love you.”

“i love you, too.” he leans up, tilts his chin to ask for kisses. eliott is, as always, happy to oblige. “we should do that again sometime, by the way. i really enjoyed myself.”

“did you?” eliott laughs. “so did i, as it turns out. we’ll definitely have to do that again.”

lucas opens his mouth to respond, but he’s cut off by a knock on the door. he calls out to ask who it is, and neither of them are surprised when it’s revealed to be mika. “sorry to interrupt,” mika says, and lucas blushes, “it’s just that manon’s friends are coming over soon so it’d be really great if you two could, like,  _ not  _ fuck so loudly.”

“oh, my god,” lucas groans, burying his face in eliott’s chest. of fucking course his roommates heard them having sex.  _ again.  _

“don’t get me wrong, i’m very happy for you two and all,” mika adds. “just remember: thin walls!”

“fuck off, mika!” lucas yells at the same time that eliott says,

“will do, sorry!”

lucas glares at him, making eliott laugh and kiss him again. lucas hates that eliott thinks he’s cute when he’s irritated–it really fucks with his whole tough guy M.O.

“this is all your fault, you know,” lucas says. 

eliott scoffs, “my fault?! how? you’re the one who couldn’t keep quiet!”

“yeah, because of  _ your  _ dick!” lucas argues, and eliott just scoffs and rolls his eyes. “besides, i fucking told you i had to go to the bathroom. it’s your fault for not listening.”

“you’re right,” eliott deadpans, “i’ll listen next time and let you jerk off in the shower.”

“that’s all i’m asking!” lucas shrugs, settling back onto eliott’s chest. 

they’re quiet for a long few moments, but it’s nice. lucas just thinks about what they just did, and how good it made him feel on so many levels. he never thought he’d get to have a love like this with a boy like this, and have it reciprocated. he never thought he would be so fucking lucky. he doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve eliott. never has. it doesn’t make any sense at all, really.

“i love you,” eliott whispers.

lucas loves him, too. that, at least, makes all the sense in the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @elullemant


End file.
